A few days ago, Adele announced that she is expecting her first child with her current beau, Simon Konecki. In the world of celebrity, babies are the new chihuahuas and, while we’re all for this trend and how happy it makes their parents, we are simultaneously amused and appalled by celebrity babies’ inevitable accessory: weird names.

Congratulations, Adele! The STATUS team is excited for you and your baby daddy, but for your child’s sake, we beg you—don’t follow the footsteps of these celebrity parents and give your child a reason to hate you.

In no particular order, here are five of some of the strangest names celebrities have chosen to bestow upon their (poor) children!—WHO’S YOUR DANI

Tu (Morrow), son of Rob Morrow 

Geddit? Word pun! But sad to say, it isn’t even that witty.

Moxie CrimeFighter, daughter of Penn Jillette

If Moxie wasn’t weird enough, the illusionist/author/comedian decided to add ‘CrimeFighter’ to  her name. It would’ve been an awesome name if he was naming a superhero child prodige (ala Hit Girl from Kick Ass).

Pilot Inspektor, son of Jason Lee

You are reading that correctly, and no, I did not misspell the word ‘inspector.’ ‘K’? Really now, Jason Lee?

Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon

No comment.

Jermajesty, son of Jermaine Jackson

We’re sure people will bow in this kid’s presence, but it won’t be from reverence. Try hiding a huge laugh.